Missing home when you’re at uni is extremely common and it’s something I feel doesn’t get talked a lot about; mainly because there’s a stigma that an 18/19/20 old adult missing home is embarrassing and because at this age, you’re kind of just expected to get on with it.
I remember going on a PGL trip in year 6 for five days with school and on the first night a girl cried her eyes out because she missed home and I thought she was an absolute wetty (which I know was a bit harsh). So, to miss home at uni when you’re a fully fledged adult and you should be beginning to make your way in the world away from home and your parents seems…embarrassing?
However, the reality is that of course you’re going to miss your family because they’re your family and you love them. Uni especially seems to heighten this because for a lot of people, its near enough moving out at age 18/19 and you’re put in a house full of strangers (in my case 11!) and you’ve got to make that situation work.Through navigating that and also adapting to living in a place which is the complete opposite of your home and most likely a dirty hole most of the time (because apparently no one knows how to take the bins out or wash up the dishes!) it is inevitable that you will miss home.
I do really enjoy university, my degree and living with friends (most of the time) but I also miss home a bit too. That doesn’t mean I want to drop out and live with my parents until my sister can afford to move me into a mansion with her, it is just something to cope with, so here is what I do, or have done to help with homesickness- hopefully they will hope you too!
- Visit Home – Now I know this seems counter-productive to go home and I’m definitely not suggesting to go home every weekend (because that will make it harder to keep on coming back to university) but if you miss your family and can afford to go home or wont miss loads of lectures to do so, its definitely worth it. Spending a couple days away from university can refresh your mind for when you return, plus you will be guaranteed nice food and a warm house!
- Make your room homey– This I think is so important, in first year when you’re living in university accommodation, your room is the only space that you can make homey as all other communal spaces in university accommodation will be shared by people you perhaps you don’t know very well. In second year, your accommodation will feel more homey because you’ll (hopefully) be living with friends in actual houses, but again, its hard to feel relaxed in a kitchen that is a crapfest 24/7 or a livingroom which in my case, is always cold and wet and is decorated with a large piece of pipe and a cushion someone threw up on. So, your room is a good opportunity to decorate with perhaps things from your room at home so where you’re living wont feel so alien.
- Talk to someone about it– It’s always better to talk to someone about your problems than to bottle it up and you’d be surprised how likely it is that someone else, perhaps a flatmate, or all your flatmates, are feeling similarly to you. I know that if I were talk to my brother and sister about missing home they would probably give me a pat on the arm and pinch my cheeks and give me a sympathetic ‘awww’ but I also know they miss home because they always moan about our parents not visiting them enough, so everyone could benefit from a chat every once in a while.
I hope, if nothing else, that this post shows that its okay to miss home at uni and its just one of those things that you may encounter as you move out and into the world, let me know what you think!
(Also, look at me bossing it at getting posts up??)